


[T]

by ZAURU



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZAURU/pseuds/ZAURU
Summary: In a world where Ash Lynx and the rest of the Banana Fish cast use Tumblr in the year 2015. Yut Lung hatches a devious plan to ensure Ash receives Anon Hate forever, and Blanca turns on the computer for the first time! What will Lao do when Sing tells him to stop making vague posts about Ash, and how will Eiji survive in a world where Arthur and Shorter fight over who has the best photoblog? Find out what happens when Max and Ibe read Ash's Readmores! All this and more in a brand new, exhilarating franchise...
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Anonymous Strikes

**Author's Note:**

> this is a joke. please dont take this seriously. im begging you

It was a day just like any other... 

One in which Ash Lynx opened his computer, and was browsing Tumblr.com. His boyfriend Eiji was in the kitchen, looking up recipes for breakfast. The two had moved in together after dating for several months. All was well in the world. Eiji was a successful photo-blogger, with Ash being one of his biggest fans. Though Ash was rather popular himself, such a feat seemed coincidental. Shorter deemed his blog to be one of the most comedic on the website, making satirical comments on everyday life. Only this was not satire, Ash was just expressing his feelings in an obtuse, brash manner. 

Either way, it didn't matter much. Hell, he started to enjoy it. Unlike Eiji, who was wary of asks and submissions, Ash welcomed them with open arms. Anonymous or otherwise, it was all fair game. Despite his intimidating persona, Ash understood that some people preferred to remain private. Their blogs hidden by The Lynx's wrath, protected under the guise of a greyed icon. A soulless, yet willing participant in the realm of internet blogging, a curious yet apprehensive individual. 

Ash smirked. Yes, he was the ruler of his own domain. The true king of the internet. Let it be by his hand that Tumblr would remain eventful. Protecting his little Eiji and his precious photography blog on the side was mere child's play. Mutuals couldn't even hold a candle to his follower count. Twelve billion. Ash Lynx had won. His fans adored him, and his critics lurked in the shadows - they feared his power. They feared what would happen if The Ash Lynx decided to write a post about them specifically. 

All except one. A single user - an evil little man know by Yut Lung. 

Yut Lung knew the rules, and decided to break them anyways. He knew what would happen when he willingly vagued about Ash and his blog - but yet, he did it regardless. However, Yue was skilled in his deception. He didn't just target Ash, he went after his weakpoint: Eiji Okumura. The mild-mannered partner of Ash, of whom enjoyed taking pictures of sunsets, flowers, and Ash's abnormally large forehead. The man who allowed Anonymous asks without question, but feared them due to other jealous bloggers. Eiji always wanted to turn Anon off, but knew he'd be alienating a large portion of his audience. Ones that were shy and timid, much like himself.

But Yut Lung knew. He knew what to do. He didn't even have to hide under a different IP. He would send Eiji the worst Anonymous ask of all time. And the best part? He'd get away with it. Nobody would know it was him. Perhaps Sing, but Sing was sworn to secrecy - he would never divulge Yut Lung's agenda. He was too busy spamming Super Mario 64 Theory videos onto everyone's dashboards anyways. 

Yut Lung smiled. He went to Eiji's blog, bnuuy-flower.tumblr.com, and typed the following message: 

"Hello Mr. Eiji. I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely loathe your presence. Please delete your account. Please remove yourself from Tumblr. There is absolutely nothing here for you. If you do not comply I will contact Tumblr support and have your blog removed immediately. Thanks!" 

Yut Lung hit send. And all was right in his twisted, evil little world. 

Moments later, at the Lynx-Okumura household, Eiji walked into Ash's room, on the verge of tears.

"Eiji?! Whats wrong?" Ash yelled, running to his lover's side. Eiji sat down on the bed. He knew he had to tell Ash what happened, but it was just so scary. He couldn't believe that someone had access to Tumblr's entire mainframe, and was threatening to destroy his blog if he didn't delete it. Either way, he knew that shit was about to go down. Ash wouldn't take this threat lightly. He would send a wave of pain unto whatever poor soul had sent the ask.

"Its... I... I got Anon Hate." Eiji whimpered, leaning into Ash's touch. Ash wrapped his arms around Eiji, calming his nerves. "I knew this would happen Eiji; we both did. Why didn't you turn Anon off?" Ash asked. Eiji merely shook his head, a soft smile gracing his features. "I just wanted to give my fans the chance to talk to me. But... I didn't know such an evil, wicked thing would be said. How could someone go on the internet and say such awful lies?!" 

Ash sighed, and turned away. "You said that they were an Anon, right?" His blonde's gaze darkened. He took out his phone, and began texting Blanca. "Do you think it was Arthur?" Eiji asked, unsure as to what Ash was doing on his phone. "No. Arthur doesn't know what the Anonymous button does. He can only send hate to people through his actual blog. Its why he's forced to remake almost every day." Ash responded. Mashing his hands against the screen, Ash sent an SOS to the only man who could help them. The elusive, mysterious mercenary known as Blanca. If anyone could get someone's IP, it was him.

Ash stood up, and made his way to the door. Eiji reached his hand out, grasping for Ash. "Ash, I don't know what your planning, but... stay safe. Don't do something reckless!" Eiji couldn't believe this was happening. Ash was going out to take revenge - to find out who sent Eiji Anon Hate. It was a dangerous task, one that could result in Blog Termination. And yet... Ash was doing it. He was embarking on this journey to ensure Eiji would remain safe. Eiji could only weep as Ash nodded, closing the door behind him with a soft click. 

"I'm sorry Eiji, but this must be done... Forgive me, but I will avenge you. I'll make sure you'll never receive such a heinous comment ever again!"

With newfound resolve, Ash left the apartment, walking off into the night. Eiji watched as his lover left the complex, overwhelmed with grief...

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. An Unlikely Partnership

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash embarks on his journey to find Blanca. Meanwhile, Yut Lung's plan to hack Ash's blog is revealed! Faced with the ultimate enemy, Ashton "Ash" "The Legend" Lynx teams up with an unlikely foe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am. unleashing the frederick arthur fanclub agenda. enjoy

"Damn this kinda fucking sucks..." Ash said as he walked down a nearby alley. For some reason he couldn't find Blanca. Blanca didn't really know how to use technology, so it was to be expected. However, Ash still thought he was the best choice for hacking someone's IP address. Why? Blanca was smart, but only sometimes. But 'sometimes' was all Ash needed - if Blanca could do anything right in his life, it would be to stop the evil lurking within Tumblr.com. Ash had faith that his former teacher could aid him in such a feat. 

That is, however, if Ash could find the guy. He had been searching for a good five minutes now. An excruciating amount of time with little success. With a simple fedora to go off of, Ash was at a loss. What would he do without Blanca? Nobody knew how to hack in New York except for him. This was awful. Eiji would be subjected to the evils of the internet and Ash wouldn't be able to do a damn thing... No. It couldn't end like this! Ash knew he had to do something. But what? He was powerless. He didn't understand what it meant to Hack The Mainframe. All he could do was vent about how Shorter sent him the same image of Sing falling down the stairs approximately 30 times. But Shorter was omnipotent, and Ash was a mere human... What could he do? 

Was there anyone who could help him? Someone aside from Blanca? Surely someone. Somebody had to know how Tumblr worked. 

"Anyone... I need your help!" Ash whispered, fists clenched in anger. The man scowled as he walked back into the street, far from home. He waltzed to the nearby apartment complex, home of the devious Frederick Arthur. This was a bad idea, Ash thought. Arthur and Ash were enemies, but despite it all, Ash knew the guy was smart. And by smart, Ash means incredibly idiotic. However, Arthur had something that Ash did not: The Mainframe. The ability to find anyone's IP in mere seconds. For a man who knew little of Tumblr's mechanisms, he sure knew how to turn on a computer. Goddamn. 

Ash sighed. He knew he had to do this. He knew he needed Arthur's help. 

Ash walked up to complex entrance, and whisked himself inside. He made his way to the third floor and rang Arthur's doorbell. At first there was nothing but silence. But Ash knew Arthur was in there. Arthur never left home unless offered free peanuts at the local bar. He didn't eat anything else. He just liked the free peanuts because as a quick snack, they are rather nutritious and full of protein. Some stupid shit like that. Who knows.

"Arthur I know you're in there can you open the fucking door. Thanks."

Ash heard movement from the other side as Arthur crawled on all fours to the door. Slamming against the carpet as he dropped his ridiculously large tuba on the floor. Of course Ash couldn't see this, but he could certainly hear it. A fun fact about Frederick Arthur was that he liked to play the tuba in his free time. It was interesting. He liked the funny sounds it made and the fact that Shorter would yell at him on voice call whenever he started playing his Shawty Fire Burning cover.

"Well Well Well if it isn't Ashton Lynx." Arthur said, smirking. Ash couldn't see this but he knew Arthur was fucking smirking or some shit. "Arthur, I don't need this shit. I'm here because I need your help." Ash said, letting out another sigh. He hated this so much, but if it meant keeping Eiji safe... Well, he'd do anything.

"Why should I help you?" Arthur spat, reaching for his tuba. He was going to annoy the Hell out of Ash. This was an optimal time for revenge. For all the years spent reporting Ash's blog, now he could terminate Ash in real life. Instead of fighting with words, he would use steel. The prowess of his musical talent was not to be underestimated - Arthur knew he could win in such a duel. Ash was helpless in the hands of the Almighty Frederick. 

The King of Sound. The Sultan of Speed. The Legend of Lies. 

"Just let me in, Arthur. This is about Eiji." Ash was unrelenting. No way was he giving up here. He was going to get Arthur's help one way or another. "Someone sent him hate. I don't know who, but they were an Anon. Who knows if they'll come after us next?" Bargaining. Ash was bargaining on Arthur's hidden fear. That Anon would strike once more, destroying his internet presence forever. Arthur was used to remaking his accounts numerous times - because he wasn't a coward. He didn't know what the fuck an 'Anon' even was. He only spoke truths. Nothing more. Nothing less. An absolute king with a grand total of twenty followers - once of which, was Eiji, out of pity. 

"...Fine." Arthur said. He opened the door, greeting Ash with a scowl. The two made their way into Arthur's luxurious apartment. Decked out with everything a man could ever hope for. The simplest pleasures were all Frederick desired, and here they were: On display for all to see. His gorgeous abode. His humblest of homes. The Greatest Living Space of All Time. 

"Its fucking sick aint it." Arthur said, cracking a smile. He waltzed into the kitchen to pour a cup of Vitamin Water Sugar Free Edition as Ash took in his surroundings. This was his new base of operations - this was where he'd find the bastard who threatened Eiji. This was the beginning of an unlikely friendship between friend and foe. To fight the greater evil, to defeat the wickedness that came their way. This was the alliance that would tear down bridges. Frederick "The Fred" Arthur and Ash "Ashton" Lynx.

Arthur returned, downing his Vitamin Water Sugar Free Edition in one fell swoop. Ash merely stood in silence; before turning to Arthur with an empty expression.

"Damn bitch, you live like this?"


End file.
